Wrapping Up September Detoxing

In Life by LauraLeave a Comment

ultimate-applicatorsMoving into October, I’m still finishing the September Detox Experiment. After two weeks of tea, it was time to get a little freaky with some cling wrap. I’ve heard far too many friends talk up It Works! and their wraps to let them be ignored. My Facebook feed is literally full of “so many inches lost in just one wrap!” I finally decided to see for myself if a 72-hour disappearing act was really doable. Spend 45 minutes looking like food, wait 3 days, be skinny. Pretty straight forward.

Or not. At all.

With their Loyal Customer Pricing, I dropped $82 having 4 Ultimate Body Applicators and a sample tube of Defining Gel taxed, packaged and shipped to me. For that, the It Works! site promises:

Tightens, tones, & firms
Minimizes cellulite appearance
Improves skin texture & tightness
Mess-free and simple to use
Results in as little as 45 minutes
Progressive results over 72 hours

All good things. My fabulous distributor also suggested eating clean and drinking a near-literal ton of water – both of which I planned to do to ensure the most bang for my buck. While I did adjust my diet (to the recommended something far better than my typical grab-and-go bad decisions), I didn’t change up my workout much – long walks, quick runs and lots of Yoga for the most part.

The directions for these bad boys are as follows:

Apply one Applicator to one area of your choice (such as the abdomen, back, sides, legs, arms, or buttocks) and leave on for 45 minutes. Remove and discard. Repeat after 72 hours.

To me, that sounds like you do this twice and the game is over – so that’s exactly what I did. Here’s how it went:

[headsubline subline=”Stomach and sides”]>Round 1[/headsubline]

After 2 hours in wrap #1 – Feeling a bit like a greased up Paula Dean ham wrapped for guaranteed freshness, but that’s about it. The only immediate result is that I now need to buy a new box of cling wrap. I did some crunches.

defining-gel24 hours post-wrap #1 (Day 1)– I’m not convinced anything is actually happening. I don’t feel, look or measure any smaller than I did yesterday despite having stuck to a clean diet. I applied the It Works! Defining Gel for a hopeful boost. And, I did some crunches.

48 hours post-wrap #1 (Day 2) – Noticing a greater reduction in fluid retention today, so I’m still hopeful. Applying more Defining Gel through the day and crossing my fingers that we see some magic happen. Crunches for days.

72 hours post-wrap #1 (Day 3) – I might see some subtle ‘firming’ but my measurements haven’t changed. Keeping on with the Defining Gel.

While I walked into this whole test reasonably skeptical that a lubed up piece of paper would shrink me in no time flat, I still expected something out of it. For that reason alone, I wasn’t satisfied with Round 1. I would have to test these wraps bigger and better. Enter Round 2.

how-toI reasoned that round 2 would be the final round of my tummy treatment according to the directions. Taking the hardly logical next step to see if I could see some results elsewhere while saving some time, I packaged my entire middle in the remaining three applicators and a new box of cling wrap. Strategically covering my stomach and the back/outer portions of my thighs and butt (see models 1 and 5 to the right), I sealed everything up like Thanksgiving leftovers. I actually have no idea if this is among the suggested uses of these suckers (it probably isn’t). Let’s call it an advanced move.

[headsubline subline=”Stomach and sides + back of thighs”]>Round 2[/headsubline]

After 2 hours in wrap #2 – Still nada. Define me, Defining Gel!

24 hours post-wrap #2 (Day 4) – To my surprise, I still haven’t seen even the slightest result. At this point, my skin is a mess and my sleeping habits are a train wreck – both things It Works! doesn’t promise but the teatox was solving for me. Having used up the last of the wraps, I returned to my tea.

How did my results measure up to the It Works! claims? They didn’t. Because, it turns out, I didn’t actually complete a full treatment.

What?! Yes.

Despite being marketed with the phrase “results in as little as 45 minutes” and the instructions implying to me that two 72-hour treatments are all you need, a full treatment is actually considered to be 4 wraps in a single location. Add that mess up – that’s 12 days and I only made it through 4. What I can tell you is what I saw in the first 96 hours…

Tightens, tones and firms ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ 
Minimizes cellulite appearance ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ 
Improves skin texture and tightness ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ 
Mess-free and simple to use ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ 
Results in as little as 45 minutes ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ 
Progressive results over 72 hours ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ 

 

Note that this is my body. Not yours, her’s, his or my best friend’s – these types of things are going to be different for everyone. I had a great chat with my distributor who laughed with me at the idea of me wandering my house with half of my body in cling wrap for 2 hours. She explained where I’d gone wrong and offered to show me the wrapping ropes after it was so very clear I had missed the mark. To be fair, I should probably give it another go in the near future and actually complete the detox correctly.

I’m definitely taking ownership of my horrendous fail here. As in any healthy body initiative, these things take time, and expecting results in 45 minutes when a treatment takes 12 days is unfair. However, It Works! leading customers to expect results in 45 minutes when the treatment takes 12 days is also unfair. If you’re thinking of tackling the full 12 days, bypass the flashy marketing before committing. I’d recommend:

  • Reading testimonials and blogs other than this one. I mean, seriously – why are you letting sarcasm laden opinions guide your life choices?
  • Seeking out reviews by non-distributors and people that paid for their own product. You’ll get a more honest opinion on whether or not it’s worth it.
  • Looking for reviews by people of a similar size. How long did it take them to see results? Were they satisfied? Did they eat healthy, drink water and really commit to the detox?

My dreams of being shrink wrapped to “ultimate” beauty have clearly been crushed (by my own ridiculousness). With my epic failure x4, I’m guessing the odds that you’d see some magic happen have dramatically improved. If you’ve always wanted a reason to cover your body in cling wrap, give my friend Kelley a shout, test four of these puppies for yourself and leave me a note. I’d love to know how someone else has done with the entire process!