The Skinny skinny

In Life by Laura

I love free stuff. Those little bottles of shampoo at the hotel – whoa. Two peppermints in the same wrapper – amazing. A “from the gentleman at the bar” drink at dinner – yes. But, if that same drink came to me as “25% paid for by the gentleman at the bar,” I’d probably throw it at him.

Just in time to celebrate my friend Ben’s birthday last weekend, BzzAgent sent me some seemingly sweet rebates to soak up some Skinny Girl[sup]®[/sup] wines and cocktails. Unfortunately, the ‘significant rebate’ came in the form of $7 off two bottles.

Having agreed to review the drinks and not knowing the cost of the bottles, I planned to follow through. I zipped over to Tipsy’s, one of the larger local liquor stores, thinking that they would carry most of the brand’s inventory. It’s where I usually go if I want to spend an hour trying to decide which wine to buy, so I was shocked to learn that they only carried two of the Skinny Girl wines – California Red and California White. The very awesome guy helping me told me that the only thing skinny about them was the portion size. “Basically, just drink less.” I take my dealers’ warnings seriously. One to love my wine and not willing to drop $14 on a blend, I moved on to the vodkas.

What vodkas? I don’t know. I was also told that those sold so poorly that the liquor store didn’t carry them anymore. “Of all the Skinny Girl stuff, we sell the most of the cocktails.” With that gem of a fact, I slid down the aisle to take my chances on the final frontier.

Cocktails appeared to be where this place got busy. Pricy, but busy. I instantly grabbed a bottle of the Original Margarita ($14). Not only was it among the highest in alcohol content, there were also two already missing from the shelf. I took it as a good sign. The smooth, frosted glass bottle was lined up next to many others of the same – Skinnyminis Margaritas ($17), Sweet ‘N Tart Grapefruit Margarita, Mojito, Pina Colada, Sangria and White Cranberry Cosmo ($14 each).

Maybe it was because the epic Margarita Summer is now two years in the past, but I was feeling spunky, like tequila might be on my side for once, so I snagged a second bottle (as the rebate required) – the White Peach Margarita (also $14).

By the time Saturday rolled around, I was anxious to try my $32 investment. With the world’s most perfect fire pit weather and a house full of friends, I busted out the Skinny Girl. Not a guy in the room was going to be caught dead drinking the very girly drink – even if they were already a little buzzed. And maybe margaritas just weren’t the flavor of the night, but none of the girls were interested either.

Still, I had to do my reviewing, so I poured a juice glass full of the perfectly chilled Original Margarita. The first sip was incredibly tart with a harsh agave flavor. It wasn’t the best I’d had, but not the worst either, so I kept sipping. Or so I thought. We’d all been standing around the kitchen for quite awhile when I looked down and realized I’d hardly touched my drink. I took another sip only to decide that I didn’t like it at all and poured the remaining half glass down the sink.

Nearly a week later, I still can’t bring myself to have another glass, let alone open the second bottle. When it comes to margaritas, I’ll be sticking with my Jose Cuervo ones in all their anti-skinny glory. Party on.

Update: Dustin and I did bring ourselves to try the Original Margarita again. His first-sip assessment was an incredibly sour face followed by “Yea, that just tastes like a really bad margarita.” At the recommendation of a coworker, I mixed the Skinny drink half and half with a Rolling Rock. Problem solved. Just had to take the skinny out of it.

Update to the Update: With a group of friends, we tried again starting with the White Peach Margarita. Not too shabby. It had a very strong peach flavor but that definitely helped to mask whatever it was about the Original Margariata that we all hated. I’m still not going to be sprinting to my nearest liquor store to pick up another of the overpriced bottles, but it’s nice to note that the experiment wasn’t a complete flop.